


Little Letters

by RamblingWriter



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 22:35:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamblingWriter/pseuds/RamblingWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Entry for the Cullens Incarcerated Contest. It all began with a little letter, but it was enough to spark the hope and feed the curiosity. Could she really be saved? AH</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I own the plot and the friendly ghost flying around in my head.
> 
> To see other entries in the "Cullens Incarcerated" contest, please visit the profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2163960
> 
> Big thanks to Miss Beckie Louise, for inspiring me to write for this contest, to Belle Dean, for doing an excellent beta job and pointing out things I hadn't even considered when writing it, and to everyone who voted in the contest. Congratulations to the three amazing writers who won, and I encourage everyone to check out my personal favourite in the competition, Scars are Souvenirs You Never Lose. And bring a tissue. And then go read Beckie's entry, Love Behind Bars, which I beta'd.
> 
> The nurse is for Annichka, who has her own personal God in scrubs waiting for her at home, when he's not at school ;)

"I don't know what to say to him," she whispered into the darkness. "I mean, who does that? Starts writing to a totally random person, simply because she's in jail?"

"I don't know, Bella." The reply was barely discernable in the darkness, but Bella heard it. "You don't have to reply if you don't want to, but it might be good for you." The bright voice sounded hopeful. If there was anything Bella needed, it was someone to truly listen to her. Someone aside from Alice.

Bella stared up at the ceiling, eyes following the patterns of the bars made by the faded moonlight. She chewed on her lower lip -- a bad habit she had recently developed. After biting her nails right down to the skin, she decided one day that she wouldn't do that anymore. She wanted her nails to be long and pretty, and maybe one day she would get there.

She never used to be a nervous biter. It wasn't until the trial started that she had begun chewing on her nails. After that, she always needed to be chewing on something, whether it would be her nails, her lips, or just about whatever she could get a hold on. She never chewed on her clothes however; the mere thought of putting cloth within her lips sent shivers down her spine. Someone had called her orally fixated while she sucked on the end of her plastic fork -- and the girl quite disgustingly winked at her as she said "orally" -- but Bella knew that this was pure nerves. She recognized the signs from when she'd had to study for difficult exams in college. This was no fixation.

"I think you should write him back," Alice whispered with an air of finality. Bella couldn't deny that she was curious about why this man was writing to her, so she silently agreed with her friend.

 _Jasper_.

Bella sighed as she thought of his name. The way he wrote was wonderfully elegant, his handwriting looped and cursive and beautiful, just like the way hers had never been. She remembered how her third grade teacher had tried to get her to connect the letters the right way, but all that came from it was horrible chicken scribble. Bella had been quick to ditch the cursive after that.

The letter had stated that he worked in the health industry, and Bella felt a little frustrated as she realized that he was basically giving her nothing to work with. The rest of it had been just as vague. The only clear things he had revealed were his name, his age (twenty-nine) and the fact that he had a younger brother. Though, he had mentioned that he did some volunteer work, and that was probably the most personal he had gotten.

The thing that bothered Bella the most was the fact that he seemed to know a lot about her. He obviously knew her name, but then he hinted that he'd heard somewhere that she was unhappy in the prison and in need of someone to talk to. He'd said he hoped she would trust him, and Bella had to admit that she was doubtful she could, seeing as he hadn't told her too much about himself.

At the end of the letter, which hadn't been all that long, he asked her about what she'd had for breakfast.

 _Who could possibly be interested in that?_  she thought as she mentally scoured over the letter for the hundredth time. She knew it by heart by now, after reading it nonstop since getting it at lunch time.

 _Tell me anything and everything,_  he'd written. Something about those words had struck her, and at random times, they would pop up in her mind and make her smile. She didn't even know why they affected her so much, but she felt like those five words held her whole future in their hands -- and that did not necessarily feel like a bad thing.

Smiling, she turned in her bed, facing the wall. It was decided; she would write back.

* * *

 

Few people frequented the Clallam Bay Correction Center's library during the morning hours. It wasn't surprising, really, since the collection of books was outdated, and many of them had been vandalized by the prisoners. Most people checked in after lunch or in the late afternoon, most to see if there were any new magazines up for grabs, but a small minority came to study for various distance courses. Bella enjoyed spending her time there, especially when it was this quiet and empty.

The letter from the day before lay open in front of her, a blank sheet of paper sitting next to it. She didn't know what to say. Words escaped her as she either chewed on her pencil or tapped it against her chin. She was sure she'd end up burning a hole in the sheet if she'd keep on staring like that.

 _Dear Jasper_ , she began, but struggled with not erasing it right away. It sounded so much like they were old friends. She had to remind herself that she didn't know this guy. What she wanted to do was say 'dear Mr. what-ever-your-last-name-is,' but then she was reminded that she did not know his full and proper name. It bothered her. She had been taught to be formal to strangers, and yet she couldn't.

After a few moments, she continued and decided she would just go with whatever she could think of:

> _Thank you for your letter. I don't know what I should say to you. How do you know me? And do I know you? My curiosity is well on its way to turn me crazy._

Somehow she found herself to be a lot bolder with her written words than she normally would be. She continued,

> _You want to know about my day? They are not eventful, I'm afraid. Early morning breakfast usually includes a generic cereal, maybe some fruit if we're lucky. I usually spend my days in the library, as long as it's open. I like to read and write and draw, which are the only things I can think of doing in here, really. Sometimes I wish I could work again, or go back to school, but I try not to think about the outside world too much._

Bella stopped. She wondered if she was maybe saying too much. Again she was filled with doubt. How could anyone be interested in what she was doing behind bars? No one had cared before…

Before she had time to edit herself, Bella quickly signed a polite farewell greeting and her name. She folded the letter as she hastily ran out of the library and to her cell. When she arrived, she dropped the it on her desk, and sat down on her bed, wringing her hands anxiously together to keep herself from snatching it and throwing it away.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked, bewildered by her friend's behavior. She only got a slight nod from Bella, who was eyeing the letter surreptitiously. "Well? Did you answer it?" Patience had never been one of Alice's virtues.

"Yeah," Bella whispered and tilted her head towards the offensive envelope on the desk.

"Well?" Alice asked again.

"Well, what?" Bella huffed, nervously clawing at the cuticles of her fingernails.

Alice was getting irritated by Bella's elusiveness. "What did you say?" she asked loudly.

Finally, Bella focused on her friend sitting next to her. "I… Well, I said something about cereal and… writing…" she trailed off, scratching her head. It was all scrambled up in her head. "Gah, I can't send it, can I?" she asked, standing up. "It's ridiculous! I should just rip it up and start over, shouldn't I?" She was already walking towards the desk. As soon as she touched the letter, Alice sprang up.

"Don't you dare, Bella! You will not rip that letter! You will wait for one of the guards to make his rounds, and you will give it to him. If you can't wait, just go take it to one of them right now!" There was no denying it, that girl was a spitfire.

Not daring to go against Alice's orders, Bella clutched the letter to her chest and looked outside to see who was on duty. When she noticed the black curls of Emmett Cullen, she smiled. Cullen was definitely her favorite prison guard. He might look big and scary, but there was this air about him that calmed her.

Standing tall at six-foot-two, he looked like he could take down an entire army. His muscles filled out the uniform quite nicely, but despite the scary build, he could no longer be considered intimidating once he smiled his dimply grin. His brown eyes could tell a person every single emotion going through his mind, and when he needed to be strong and fierce, they would sparkle and scare the living hell out of anyone in their way.

Emmett had always been a bit nicer to Bella than the other guards, and when she'd finally allowed him past the outermost shell of her protective shell, she felt like he was the big brother she never had.

Deciding that she wouldn't trust the letter with anyone else, Bella quickly moved over the quad towards him. When he noticed her, he grinned, amused by her flustered state.

"What's up, Swan? Why so tense?"

Bella shrugged as she reached him. "No reason," she answered, trying to be convincingly nonchalant, so he wouldn't inquire further. To further distract him from the conversation, she thrust the letter at him.

"What's this?" he asked as he grabbed it. He was about to open it when Bella hastily stilled his hands.

"No! It's not for you," she explained as she clutched his hands. She was quick to pull her hands back, knowing that she should be more respectful of his personal space.

"Oh? Who's it for, then?"

"It's for… it's this guy, I got a letter from him yesterday, and… Well, I thought I might reply…" she finished feebly.

Emmett seemed cheered up by her rant. "Ooooh, a guy, is it?" he teased as he inspected the outside of the letter. "Jasper? And no last name?"

"Yeah," she muttered. "He didn't tell me anything more. It's all right, though, isn't it? I mean, his P. O. box address is enough, right?"

"Yeah, it probably is," Emmett assured her. "So who's this guy, then?"

Bella blushed, though she wasn't entirely sure why. "No one," she muttered. "Just... Send it, please?"

"Sure, no problem," he answered, making Bella breathe a bit easier.

The easy moment didn't last too long, and soon the familiar claustrophobic sensation gripped Bella, who reflexively wrapped her arms around herself. She felt uneasy being out in the open, feeling the stares of the other inmates. It was a strange juxtaposition, how she felt like the walls were closing in on her whenever she wandered out into the open space between the cells. She felt like she could never be too guarded out there, afraid that someone might attack her at any moment and without a cause.

Not wanting to prolong the feeling, she hurriedly walked back to the safety of her cell.

* * *

 

She felt like every day was getting longer, dragging on and prolonging her apprehension. As Bella waited for a response from Jasper, she battled her anxiety by focusing all her energy on not biting her stupid nails. But there was no way to escape that feeling; her lips were chapped from being bitten, and she had sores around a couple of her fingernails, where she had been tearing up the cuticles.

Five days, she had been waiting for a letter from the mysterious Jasper. Five days, she had hoped that the guard would bring her something from him. For the last four days, she had been convinced that he had given up on her.

The fifth day was Rosalie Hale's day to hand out the mail. That day, Bella decided to hide in her cell, because she definitely did not want to pass Hale on her route.

"No letter today?" Alice's squeaky voice sounded as Bella walked in.

"I don't know," Bella muttered. "I didn't check."

"What? Why not, Bella? You know he's gonna write, I've told you this!" Bella cringed at the sound of her voice. She hated it when Alice lectured her. She didn't bother to answer, though. She perched herself on her bed, not quite knowing what to do with herself.

"Come on, Bella. It's coming. You just see," Alice sang as she danced around the cell.

Bella sighed and rubbed her face with her palms, emotionally tired of the waiting and the anxiety and of her tiny little friend always being so sure of everything.

"Swan!"

The loud voice of Rosalie shocked Bella, and she immediately rose to her feet again.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed, making Bella shiver under the harsh gaze of her icy blue eyes. She was the one guard that made Bella's life in the prison almost unbearable. She was a little scared of most of the guards, but Rosalie was by far the worst. It was like she was singling Bella out as the worst person in the prison.

Right from the get go, Bella had gotten all the worst jobs whenever Rose was on duty. There was anything from toilet duty, to cleaning the garbage dumpsters, to scraping the mold and fungi growing under various appliances in the kitchen, which effectively ruined Bella's appetite. Bella didn't blame her for thinking what she was supposed to have done made her a bad person -- it was a terrible crime -- but she couldn't see how what she was believed to have done made her worse than the murderer in the cell next to hers.

Maybe it was Bella's naiveté that made it feel unjust, or the knowledge that she was falsely accused.

Rosalie's navy blue uniform was always a bit tighter than it should be, and it stretched over her chest and hips, and the pants clung to her strong thighs. Bella admired her golden blonde hair, which was usually tied up in a knot under her cap, but once she took the hair tie out, the golden locks flowed like a river down her back, ending right at the top of her butt. Every time, it was like watching one of those hair commercials.

"You have a letter," Rosalie spat, snatching up an envelope from her bag. Her harsh grip crinkled the paper, and Bella was afraid she would ruin it with her long nails.

"Th-thanks," Bella stammered before slowly walking closer to Rosalie, reaching out for the letter.

"Who's writing  _you_  letters?" Rosalie sneered.

"I-I-I" Bella stammered again, fighting the urge to scream for help. She definitely didn't like how Rosalie bullied her.

"Come on, Bella," Alice whispered from behind her. "Tell her to mind her own business. Tell her she can go fuck herself!"

Bella turned her head slightly towards Alice and whispered back, "No, I can't! Just… Just stay quiet, please." She turned back to Rosalie, who looked a bit taken aback. "Can I  _please_  have my letter?" Bella pleaded.

Rosalie studied Bella for a moment, before resigning. "There," she huffed as she flung the letter into the cell.

Relief flooded Bella's body, and she had trouble staying upright as she fought to steady her breathing. As soon as she had composed herself, she snatched up the letter and greedily opened it. An emotion so strong and so strange washed over her as she recognized Jasper's elegant writing, and she was forced to sit down to read it.

"So," Alice interrupted Bella's third read through. "What does he say?" she asked impatiently when Bella didn't answer immediately.

"I… Well, he said we've met before, and that his brother works in the building, and that's how he knows how I'm doing." Bella paused, not knowing if she wanted to give away the next part, if she could voice her hope. But Alice wouldn't have that.

"And…" she pushed.

"And… Well, he says he's looked over my case with his father, who's a lawyer, and they think…" Bella paused again, trying to suppress the fluttering of her stomach. Finally she continued, whispering in hopes that Alice wouldn't be able to hear how much she wanted it to be true.

"They think they can get me out of here."

* * *

 

The morning after, Bella was the first to enter the library. She was so engrossed in her answer to Jasper that she barely noticed the large figure who came and sat down next to her.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Emmett asked, trying to look over Bella's shoulder. She jumped at the sound, but smiled once she saw who it was. Though that didn't stop her fidgeting with the paper in front of her, trying to conceal what she was doing.

"I was just writing," she said in fake cheerfulness. She wasn't sure if she wanted to give Emmett more information about her mystery man or any information on her newfound hope.

Emmett grabbed her hands to still them. "Stop being so nervous, Bella." His voice was gentle, as were his rugged hands.

Bella exhaled and looked up at Emmett. His kind face did wonders for her nerves, and she knew this was something she wanted to share with him.

"Well, Jasper wrote me back…"

Emmett cut her off. "Oh, so are you going to tell me who this Jasper is?" he teased and snatched the letter from her. Bella's eyes went wide, her hands itching to snatch it back, but she knew that she couldn't snap at a guard like that. No matter how kind Emmett usually was to her, she had to remember that he was her superior. She also knew that the letter would be screened by the guards anyway, so no matter how she wanted to conceal its contents, she couldn't.

"It's just some guy," she defended herself. "He's nice and, well… he thinks he might be able to help me get out of here…" she said, her voice quiet and unsure. She looked at the letter in his hands.

"How so?" Emmett asked bluntly. He didn't seem impressed by this guy, being a bit wary of him putting hope in Bella's head.

"Well, he said that he knows some things about my case, and he thinks I had an incompetent lawyer the first time, and he's going to look into it some more," Bella told him, but she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Emmett or herself that something might be done for her.

Emmett put the letter down in front of them, taking a moment before broaching the subject he had always been curious about.

"Why did you end up in jail?"

There was a pause. Bella wasn't sure if Emmett would believe her; most people were quick to make assumptions, and the most logical thing was to conclude that Bella was guilty.

"There was this family who lived near Forks," she began quietly. "They had a daughter… well, they had two daughters, but one of them died a couple of years back, the older one."

Bella wondered if she should tell the story about the older one, but decided that would complicate it too much. Besides, it tended to freak people out.

"One day, about six months ago, the younger daughter, Mary, went missing. Now, she was only three years old, so the town went frantic, wondering if she had maybe stumbled into the forest and been attacked by wild animals," Bella explained. "For days there were rescue missions and townsfolk wandering into the forest looking for her, but not a trace of her was found. About three weeks after she disappeared, I went to visit the family to see if there was anything I could do to help. While I was there… " She stopped abruptly, not knowing how to proceed with the story.

"Well, I told them that she had been kidnapped," she said finally.

"Wait," Emmett cut in. "How did you know she was kidnapped?"

Bella cringed. "I didn't. It just slipped out." She looked down at her hands.  _He can't think I'm crazy,_ she reminded herself. "Don't ask me how I knew, I just… There was something that told me she was kidnapped, and I told the parents.

"After I told them that, I started getting more and more feelings about the case. The more time I spent in their house, the more I details I got. I went to the police and told them to look into the Hunter family, who lived not far away from Mary's family."

She was getting to the hardest part of the story, the one that was more personal than anything else. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for the emotional floodgate she was about to open.

"Well, while I was trying to get them to check out the Hunter house, they were busy running a background check on me from my Phoenix years, where I went to college. They found out that just before I moved…" she trailed off, trying to hide that she was on the verge of sobbing. She willed her tears away, staring at the table, not seeing anything. But she wanted to continue; she somehow needed Emmett to hear this.

"My daughter died just before I moved back to Forks, a couple of months before." She sniffed, trying in vain to dry her tears with her sleeves. She absentmindedly accepted the handkerchief Emmett handed her, and blew her nose.

"Well, when the cops didn't seem to be doing anything about the Hunters, I decided to do some digging on my own. I have no idea what possessed me to do that, but I went anyway. So when I was there, snooping around in their house when they were at work, I found a hatch leading down into the basement. I went down, and I found the poor girl…"

The memory was too much for Bella, and despite knowing it would make it worse, she closed her eyes and cried into her hands. To think that the girl had been left all alone in a dark basement for God knows how long, it broke Bella's heart. Her clothes had been too big and dirty, and soiled cloth diapers had been in a bucket in the corner, stinking up the whole room.

Emmett's hard exterior broke as he watched the woman in front of him cry. He wrapped his arm around her and hugged her, allowing her to cry on his shoulder.  _She's too young,_  he thought.  _She's too young to have gone through this much._  Her twenty fourth birthday had been the month prior, and she'd had to spend it in jail. Bella's story, like so many others, made Emmett question the existence of God and justice.

After a few moments, Bella got herself together, but she didn't want to extract herself from Emmett's comfort. So she stayed as she continued the story.

"Of course, just as I had brought the girl upstairs, the police decided to show and check the place out. Needless to say, I was the number one suspect. They said I had been too crazed after the loss of my child that I kidnapped Mary, and when I realized what I had done, I tried to blame it on the Hunters."

A new wave of tears slid down Bella's cheeks. As much as Emmett wanted to know more, he couldn't bring himself to ask any more questions. He had always had a feeling that Bella was too innocent to be in jail, and he fully believed in her story.

Most of the women in the prison looked angry or scared when they first entered the Center, but Bella had looked resigned. She definitely did not have the look of guilt or frustration of being caught when Emmett had handed her the bed sheets and her uniform. There had been a small part of him that thought maybe she actually was crazy, like some of the rumors said. On more than one occasion he had seen her sudden smiles and small glances, like her attention had suddenly been drawn to something standing right beside her.

Something told him that the reason she did not behave like the other inmates was because she was not like them. Bella was not supposed to be behind bars; she was not guilty.

* * *

 

Bella had written Jasper back, telling him more about her case. It had been easier after disclosing it to Emmett, having already opened up the wounds she had been ignoring for the last couple of months. She definitely did not cry as much the second time around.

She had also told him about Alice, how she could talk to her and confide in her. She told him how Alice kept telling her to fight back and stay strong, and how sad she was that Alice couldn't really help her. All she could do was make sure that Bella wouldn't lose her mind or break down behind closed bars.

The reply did not take as long to arrive this time. Jasper seemed as eager as Bella was to exchange letters, so this time Bella only had to wait a day. So once again, Bella found herself in the library, reading through the newest treasure in her possession.

> _Dear Bella,_
> 
> _I told my father about your story, and we have started looking into your case. I believe you._

A gust of air exited Bella's body as she sat back in her chair. The last three words had relieved her to no end, and she couldn't help the flutter of joy spreading through her or the gathering of tears in the corner of her eyes.

> _We will be asking to see all police records and looking into the past of James and Victoria Hunter as soon as we can. We also need to set up a meeting with you to discuss all our options._
> 
> _Now, I regret to tell you this, but I have concealed my true identity in my letters. My name is not Jasper, and I am sorry that I lied to you, but in my foolishness, I thought maybe it would be better if you did not know who I am._
> 
> _My real name is Edward Anthony Cullen. My brother, Emmett, works in your prison, and my father, Carlisle, will be taking up your case. My mother, Esme, is a doctor at the Olympic Memorial Hospital in Port Angeles. I also have a son, Jason. He is seven years old, and he is my number one priority._

Bella didn't even notice she was smiling as she read those words. The fact that he was opening up like this was so wonderful and showed that he really must trust her. At first she was a bit miffed about his secret identity, but in the end it didn't really matter to her.

He wrote about his son at great length, and Bella laughed and giggled and smiled even more. The stories of that boy were wonderful, and even though she had no idea what he looked like, she could picture him running around a playground or in a backyard.

Bella was almost at the end of the letter when she stopped abruptly.

It was simply an innocent word, but by some weird thought process, Bella's mind had gone straight to the gutter.

> _Discourse_.

She stared at the word for a long moment. For some reason, she immediately thought of intercourse, which led to the word sex, which led to the word f… No, she could hardly think it…

 _Fuck_ …

A flash of two people, herself and Jas… no, Edward, crossed her mind. They were locked together in a compromising position, two sweaty bodies, breathing heavily, moaning and shaking with pleasure. Bella was so shocked by the heat that gathered between her legs that she quickly folded the letter together without bothering to read the rest of it. She just couldn't be having such thoughts, not about someone she had never met, and definitely not when she was out in the open with people who would surely know what she was thinking. After all, she did blush a thousand shades of red without so much as a proper cause.

As soon as she made it back to her cell, she collapsed on her bed, clutching the letter to her chest and willing her dirty thoughts away.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, concerned.

"Nothing," Bella squeaked, not wanting to reveal her inner most thoughts.

"Of course it's not  _nothing_ ," Alice deadpanned. "Why did you rush in here, looking like you just saw a ghost?"

Bella chuckled at her use of words, but quietly answered, "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it isn't. Does this have anything to do with the new letter?" Alice was terribly curious about all things concerned with Jasper, always demanding Bella would divulge everything about their exchange.

"Yeah, kinda." Bella clutched the letter a little tighter to her chest, but then loosened her grip so that it wouldn't be ruined. "It's just… ugh. I was reading it, and it's this word,  _discourse_ , and it just reminded me of another word. Or several other words…" she trailed off. This conversation was really embarrassing for her.

"Which were…?" Alice pushed for her to continue.

"Intercourse," Bella whispered quietly. The urge to hide her face was immense, but she knew Alice could be trusted, and she might even be able to comfort her.

"Oh." This surprised Alice at first, finding the word seemingly random, but then she realized where Bella would have continued from there. "Ooooh, right. So you thought of sex."

Bella groaned and covered her face with her hands, still clutching the letter.

"Now, now, Bella. There's no reason to be embarrassed, it's only natural to think of sex every now and then, even though it seems to come at random moments," Alice pointed out. "Besides, I bet Jasper is an excellent lover."

Dropping her hands, Bella looked over to Alice. "Why would you think that?" she asked, not bothering to correct his name. She had no idea how Alice was able to tell that from only letters.

"Well," Alice began, trying to think of ways to comfort her friend. "Okay, just look at his letters. They're all very well written: he has excellent vocabulary, he chooses his words just right, clearly thinking about how you'll take them, and he often sounds really formal. That means that he's attentive, thorough, and the focus is on you. His handwriting is exceptional, so that must mean his hands are very capable of something beautiful, and we all know how important that is," she ended suggestively.

Bella looked away and whispered, "I wouldn't know." She couldn't watch Alice's face fall. They had never talked about sex this much, and in the past, whenever Alice would mention sex, Bella just went along with it, afraid to voice her inexperience.

Alice, however, had always had an inkling of suspicion that Bella wasn't as well versed in those matters as she had let on. "Bella…" she began, afraid she might embarrass her with her question. "Are you a virgin?" she asked quietly.

Knowing that she couldn't avoid this conversation, and she wouldn't be able to lie to her best friend, Bella didn't even try to steer the conversation in another direction. "No," she admitted, "but I've only done it the one time."

"Only once." Alice clarified. "And it was bad?"

"Yeah, kinda." Bella took a deep breath before continuing, "It was rather unpleasant, the guy was a douche, and I ended up pregnant."

Bella noticed how uncharacteristically quiet her friend was. She knew she had to prepare for a storm once what she had told her would register.

Finally Alice couldn't hold it in any longer, but in her disbelief and shock, she couldn't let out more than a whisper. "Pregnant?"

Bella sighed. "Yeah, I had a baby girl."

The sound of Bella's breathing surrounded them. She didn't want to go there, but she knew she had to. All she could do was to try and numb the pain and not lose herself entirely in her depressing thoughts.

"What happened to her?" Alice asked quietly.

"She died," Bella answered, equally as quiet.

* * *

 

Once a week, Bella was ordered to stand outside in the quad. All the inmates could spend as much time as they wanted outside, within proper hours, but they were all ordered to go to the quad at least once a week. It was a ridiculous rule, but Bella didn't dare complain. Every Sunday she dutifully went outside with the others and walked around, come rain or shine.

This week was no exception. It was a Sunday, so no hope for a letter, but Bella was content. She even wondered if she was almost  _happy_.

The whole week prior she had exchanged letters with Edward. She had read more stories of Jason and childhood memories from Edward, and she had shared her own stories from growing up in Forks. They compared stories from First Beach and Lake Crescent, wondering how they could have crossed paths, if only they had been a day early or a week late.

Bella's mind was anywhere put in the present as she walked around with the other inmates. She was, however, brought back to consciousness for a moment or two when a heavy basketball hit her hard in the back of the head. It hurt, and Bella immediately turned around to see who and what had hit her, but in the turn she lost her footing and fell to the ground, hitting her head on something much sharper than a basketball.

Then everything went black.

* * *

 

The sterilized smell of the hospital wing was overpowering. Bella hated that smell more than anything. It was not the first time she had woken up disoriented and in a scratchy hospital gown without knowing how she got there. Other young people were used to waking up in other people's bed, with people whose name they couldn't remember, without knowing how they got there. Bella was used to walking up in various hospital beds, with strange medical devices surrounding her, and not knowing how she got there.

She was vaguely aware of the male nurse coming to check her vitals as she came around, but she was too preoccupied with the pounding headache to pay much attention to him.

He checked her blood pressure and shone a light in her eyes and told her she'd had a bad concussion. Something about his voice made her stomach flutter, and her skin tingled wherever he touched her. She decided that she was most likely high on painkillers.

Bella closed her eyes and listened to the man walk around the prison hospital room. The sound of someone else fidgeting around the room was comforting, like no words were needed. She felt safe.

Once he was done putting various things away and going through paperwork, the nurse came back over to Bella and sat down on her bed, facing her.

"How are you doing?" he asked quietly, gently grabbing her hand and playing with her fingers. Bella was at first shocked by his touch, his forwardness, but somehow she didn't care. She welcomed his kindness.

"I'm fine," she answered, not sure what else she could say.

"Are you sure? I could bring you an extra pillow or something." He continued to play with her petite fingers, gently massaging her ring and middle finger, while his eyes gazed over her face. His own fingers were long and narrow, but still somehow masculine and beautiful.

Bella smiled at his thoughtfulness. "No, I'm fine, honestly."

"Alright," he resigned. He looked down at their hands and said quietly, "I was worried about you."

Her heart fluttered and her stomach flopped. The sincerity in his voice was heartwarming, but she didn't know why this stranger would care.

"Why?" she asked.

He looked back in her eyes. "I wanted to see you, so badly, but I was afraid. I never wanted you to end up here, though."

Bella was mesmerized by his grass green eyes, the warmth in them keeping her captivated and excited, a tiny hope flickering in her chest.

"Edward," she whispered and squeezed the one finger she could grasp.

He smiled and looked down, exhaling small gusts of air as he laughed silently.

"Bella," he whispered back, before looking back up into her eyes.

He was nothing like she had pictured him to be. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected, but after he had mentioned being Emmett's older brother, she had somehow pictured a bigger version of him. Bella could see some similarities, like their eyes, despite being different color, had the same expressiveness about them, and they both had the strong jaw line. Edward's hair was not as dark as Emmett's, and it didn't curl, but rather stood out in all directions.

An obnoxious beeping noise brought them back to the real world. Edward extracted his hands to check his beeper hanging in the drawstring of his scrub pants.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

Bella sensed the reluctance in his voice, and couldn't help but mirror it with her frown.

"I'll be back," he assured her as he grabbed her hand again, squeezing it.

Once he stood up, Bella could fully appreciate his tall figure. He was well built, but not as excessively as his brother. His hips were slightly narrower than his shoulders, which looked broad and muscular in the scrub shirt. Bella blushed as she noted his ass filling out the pants, round and firm. She couldn't deny that all his assets were magnified and made more aesthetically pleasing by the blue surgical scrubs. Even his wild hair seemed more red than brown.

The sigh escaping Bella was a happy one. She felt good, despite her dull headache. The only thing that could keep her focus was the fluttering of her stomach and the tingling in her hand, from where he had touched her.

* * *

 

It was late at night when Emmett entered the hospital wing, just getting off his shift, but wanting to see Bella before he went home. For some reason he felt very protective off her. He was too late, though, since she seemed to be sleeping.

He stayed with her for a while, watching the fragile young woman curled into herself, looking for all the comfort she could get. It was nice to see that she was smiling in her sleep; he felt he could breathe a little bit easier knowing she was okay.

He stood up to leave, but stopped close to the door as he noticed his brother exit the small medical office.

Bella's sleep was disrupted by the screeching sound of the chair next to her bed. She was too disoriented to figure out who it had been, and too tired to care. When she heard the voice of the two Cullen brothers conversing, she was intrigued, wondering if they were talking about her.

At first she couldn't discern what they were saying, so she listened to the low timbre of their voices. Emmett's voice was a little more rough, deeper, and tired. Edward had a soft, low voice, and it was more melodious than any other voice she'd heard before.

When the conversation got more heated, Bella wished she could hear them. Eventually their voices escalated and Bella was able to discern most of their words.

Emmett's words were rushed and harsh, and she could only hear a couple of his words. "…Lied! You've deceived her and given her hope…Planning on getting her out? Do not play games…"

Bella's stomach dropped. She knew they were talking about her, and all of a sudden she was scared that Emmett was right. Maybe Edward couldn't save her.

Edward, however, kept his voice low and out of Bella's earshot. Try as she might, she could not hear anything besides a low humming coming from him.

"And why the hell did you tell her your name was Jasper?" Emmett's voice was getting angrier.

"I panicked, all right?" Edward's answer was unusually desperate.

Bella was distracted from their conversation by Alice's whisper coming from her bedside. "I don't know about you, but I think Jasper sounds much nicer."

Even though she was a bit irritated that she couldn't hear more of the conversation, Bella giggled quietly at Alice's admission. She herself thought Edward sounded nicer and more romantic. Maybe it had something to do with all the Edwards and Edmunds in old romantic novels, which were a guilty pleasure of hers.

The conversation between Edward and Emmett had calmed down, but they had moved closer to Bella so she was able to hear more of it.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about her," Edward admitted. "It's just… Ever since I saw her in here on my last visit, she has been constantly on my mind."

This confused Bella.  _When have I met him before?_ she thought.

As the men stood quietly in the dark, watching the apparently sleeping woman, she worked furiously at trying to remember. Why couldn't she remember?

Finally, she put the pieces together, remembering the time she cut her palm on her birthday and being more or less out of it while the nurse had stitched her together. She absentmindedly rubbed her left palm, up and down the pink scar.

Edward watched Bella's furrowed brow and wondered what she was thinking about. He felt a strange draw to her, something that had haunted him for a good month, ever since his last round volunteering at the prison. During his last visit, he had admired her simple beauty and regretted her broken spirit, and he had felt like something was pushing him to know more. There was something watching out for her, and it was telling him to do everything in his power to help her.

He had always believed that there was something out there, whether it was God or some other supernatural being. He needed to believe that things weren't as black and white as they sometimes seemed, and he had certainly experienced his share of events where things couldn't be explained with pure logic.

In his musings, he slowly reached out his hand and reverently stroked a finger down her cheek. The finger was cold, and Bella reflexively opened her eyes to see who was doing it. She noticed they were alone in the room, and for a moment she wondered when Emmett had gone, but she was quickly captivated by the bluish hue of the moonlight making Edward look almost ethereal. The smile on his face brought out a similar one on hers, and she felt a pleasant feeling spread around her insides. She felt like she was healing slightly, like things weren't as bad as before.

They gazed at each other for a long moment, taking each other in, grinning foolishly. He kept stroking her soft cheek, down to her chin, and she kept wishing he would bend down to kiss her. Never before had she wished so much for human contact, but she knew she wanted his.

After a long intense moment, Edward finally allowed himself to move closer to her. Ever so slowly, his face approached hers, being too afraid he was crossing a line to go any faster. Eventually Bella gave up on waiting for him. She impatiently grabbed the back of his head, dragging him to meet her wanting lips, resulting in them hitting their teeth together harshly.

They laughed at their clumsiness, but they didn't stop. Their joined laughter sweetened the moment, and Bella basked in his breath warming her skin. His kisses were careful and soft, but she was hungry for something more. The feeling of his lips brushing against hers was magnificent, but she needed more. The fact that she didn't know how to go about it made her blush, her inexperience sneaking up on her and making her self-conscious.

As Edward felt Bella withdraw, he refused to let go and kissed her more passionately than he had ever kissed before. Slowly but surely he opened his mouth, hinting for her to do the same, and gently stretching his tongue towards hers. At the feeling of his tongue in her mouth, Bella got her confidence back and pressed herself closer to him.

Edward began to feel uncomfortable all twisted in the bed and slowly turned and climbed more fully into it. They were now able to be much closer and Bella took full advantage of that. She snaked her hands around his hips and hooked her leg over his, fitting them together in all the right places. A familiar burning feeling built up in her abdomen, something she hadn't felt for a long time.

Their kisses became heated, wanting, desperate for more. His hand roamed down her cheek, down the slope of her neck, resting at her collarbone, afraid of going lower. She ground her pelvis against him, hoping he would go lower. It didn't take much for him to give in, and as he skimmed her breast she moaned in pure pleasure. Taking the encouragement, he pressed his palm more fully against her breast, massaging and exploring, delighting in the feeling of her nipples hardening under his touch.

Things were quick to escalade from there. Bella hungrily searched under Edward's scrub shirt, devouring the feeling of his skin under her fingertips. She scratched the hair on his lower abdomen and moved upwards, taking in his well-shaped abs as they clenched in anticipation. It was beyond imagination; she believed he was divine.

In a hurry, she got rid of his shirt, seeking skin-to-skin contact. When she remembered her own skin was still clad, she reached her hand back to unfasten the strings holding together the hospital gown. Edward, however, stilled her hands, wanting to do that himself. With nimble fingers, he untied the strings and reverently pulled the gown away, taking in every inch of her pale blue skin glowing in the moonlight.

She felt a bit shy, lying there almost naked in front of him, but with the way he was looking at her, she felt beautiful. He smiled at her as his fingers ran slowly down from her chest, through the valley of her breasts, over her slightly protruding stomach and to the edge of her white cotton panties. She was more than beautiful: she was magnificent.

He leaned over her, hovering above her with his arms on either side of her body, his nose skimming the same trail his fingers had just traveled. He placed small kisses along the way, amazed by the small goose bumps appearing on her skin. When he got down to her panties, he slowly hooked his fingers into them on either hip and dragged them down her soft thighs.

After disposing of them, he moved back up and kissed her, a long and slow kiss. His hand kept exploring, moving from her hip, up her waist and to her breast, stroking, squeezing, and turning her on. But as much as she was enjoying his attention, she was starting to long for him to get naked.

Almost as if he had read her mind, he suddenly extracted himself from her and stood up. She was terrified that she had scared him away with her forwardness, and wondered what it had been that could have caused this. Her fears were erased as soon as she saw the look of pure animalistic lust in his eyes. She knew he truly wanted her.

He quickly disposed of his scrub pants and boxer briefs, and there he was, standing erect and ready in all his glory.

Bella had never been one to think of penises as pretty -- quite the opposite. She did, however, appreciate Edward's penis. She almost felt wrong to think of it as a  _penis._  It was somehow too clinical, more in reference to a piece of the male anatomy than a pleasure device. She felt it would be more correct to call it a dick, even a cock, because she really wanted that thing to pleasure her.

Bella felt a pleasant stirring in her lower half, and absentmindedly reached down with her hand and started stroking herself. Edward groaned at the sight, and Bella was surprised to see his dick twitch, finding the movement somewhat humorous.

He climbed back into the sturdy hospital bed, attacking her mouth right away. His hand quickly ran down her body, searching for her folds and batting her hand away. It was a delightful feeling once he started rubbing and stimulating her clit. Her moans drowned in their kisses, and the feeling of her writhing underneath him was amazing.

The buzzing in her stomach intensified when he slid two long fingers in her warmth, and every now and then she would think how much better this was than her drunken first time. Most of the time, however, she was thinking how she got so lucky that someone as wonderful as Edward wanted her like that.

The pleasant feeling was building up, and right when she thought she would explode, Edward withdrew his fingers. She wanted to scream at him for taking away the goodness, but he quickly hushed her concerns as he leaned back over her, looking into her eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered. She saw that he was concerned for her, that maybe they were going too fast too soon, but she couldn't help thinking that it was a bit late to ask now.

"Yes," she answered with conviction. To prove she wanted this, she reached her hands around his shoulders and dragged him down towards her. She met his lips and devoured them, showing him her want, her need for him.  _It's too late to turn back now_.

She lifted her hips to meet his, and he groaned when he felt her slick folds barely touching his shaft. He wanted more. She wanted more.

She continued to shift herself, running her wet pussy up and down his cock, seeking pleasure. He could not deny her much longer; he could not deny himself the pleasure much longer.

Slowly, he reached his hand down and positioned himself to her core. He looked at her again, looking for confirmation, avoiding his own nervousness. At the sight of her smile and the feel of her heat wiggling against him in anticipation, he relaxed and slowly entered her. She tensed slightly, unused to the sizable penetration, but she trusted him, and she wanted nothing more than for him to continue.

His movements were slow and tender. As he slid back and forth, he touched her cheeks, her arms, her stomach; he wanted to know every inch of her. The feeling of him inside her was intense and very pleasing, despite being unfamiliar with the sensation. She had wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck, grasping his hair and scratching his back in pleasure. Her pelvis met his every thrust, and soon she was begging him to go faster, to thrust harder.

Gradually he granted her wish, not being able to contain his own need for more. Their moves became greedy, fervent, seeking all they could get. Bella felt that feeling again, swelling up and taking over. A sheen of sweat covered their bodies, creating new sensations as their skin slapped and slid against each other. Their moans were getting louder and louder, though some were lost in their kisses or in the nooks each other's necks. They sucked and licked, kissed and nibbled, losing themselves in each other.

Bella felt like she couldn't get close enough to him. She hugged him tightly as they moved faster and faster. The building bubble inside her intensified and grew until finally it burst and Bella was lost in a maddening orgasm. It was like one giant shiver, all the way from the top of her head, reaching down to the tip of her toes, magnified with thousand screaming lightnings, echoing through her body.

Edward finished not long after her, silently clenching every muscle before grunting and collapsing on top of her in his exhaustion. Bella welcomed the extra weight. It was comfortable and she felt safe and wanted. They were no longer two separate people; they were one tangled up pile of heated flesh.

When Edward was finally able to breathe normally again, he slowly untangled himself from her and stood up. Bella felt empty and cold at the separation, but he reassured her with a soft kiss. He leaned down and picked up his underwear to dress himself, then carefully slid her panties back up her tired legs.

He climbed back into the hospital bed and tangled his legs with hers again. They couldn't keep the silly smiles off their faces as their fingers lazily explored each other's bodies. She played with his hair as he fanned his fingers over her back. He skimmed his nose along her jaw as she sought out his mouth for another kiss. Their mixed chuckles were like music to their ears.

It suddenly struck Bella that they had barely said two words to each other face to face, and although she thought it was odd, she felt that it didn't matter. They knew each other, despite what anyone might say.

"Thank you," she whispered as they lay there, merely looking at each other, playing with each other's fingers.

"For what?" he asked, because he felt he should be thanking her.

"For everything," she answered. "It's never been this way for me," she explained, quickly looking down at their fingers to hide her vulnerability.

He smiled. "Me neither," he admitted.

She looked up at him in surprise. Surely he would be more experienced than her, she thought, but the look in his eyes explained more than his words. She could see he wasn't just talking about the sex. She saw that she wasn't just  _some girl_  in his eyes, but something more. She saw that he had understood her underlying meaning, and that he felt the same.

Happy and content, she drifted off to sleep in his arms, dreaming of hearts and clouds and white picket fences.

* * *

 

The room was warm and bright as Bella woke up. Her muscles felt tense and spent. She stretched in the bed, raising her arms above her head and letting out a satisfactory squeak before relaxing her body again.

She felt oddly conflicted. There was a happy feeling flowing around in her stomach, making her smile, but she felt like there was something amiss.

It wasn't until she turned around in her bed that she realized that Edward was gone. For a moment she wondered if it had all been a dream, but the smell of him all over her overruled that thought. Without even realizing what she was doing, she pulled up her hospital gown, slightly confused how she had gotten dressed again, and breathed in deeply, wanting to get his every essence ingrained in her brain.

"What has you all smiles and butterflies this morning?"

Alice's voice startled Bella from her musings, and she hurriedly sat up in the bed, abandoning her silly behavior.

"Nothing," she lied, knowing her blush was giving her away.

Alice smirked at her friend. "It's definitely not nothing…"

"Never you mind," Bella scolded her. She didn't want to reveal how far she had gone with Edward the night before. It was private.

"Alright, then." Alice knew a lost cause when she saw one. "How's Edward?" she asked, changing the subject per Bella's wish.

Bella blushed again. "Good, I guess."

"You guess?" Alice asked. She had assumed Bella and Edward must have talked at some point during the course of Bella's hospital stay.

"Yeah…" Bella mumbled.

"You haven't talked?" Alice pressed.

"Well, not really." Bella was starting to get uncomfortable. She didn't want to feel embarrassed by the fact she had slept with someone she had barely spoken to.

Alice sensed this had something to do with the "nothing" Bella hadn't wanted to talk about earlier, so she didn't force her to give up the information.

"He seems like a nice guy," Alice suggested, trying to distract Bella from her internal vexation. She proved to be successful when a small smile graced Bella's face. It made Alice happy to see her friend smile like this.

"He is very nice," Bella affirmed.

For a while, Bella seemed to be lost in her thoughts. Alice didn't press her. She knew that she needed to sort out her emotions about this guy, and she knew that whatever was going through Bella's mind was good for her. Bella needed to realize that something good was in store for her, just like Alice had been telling her.

"He makes me feel whole," Bella said suddenly, ready to voice her thoughts. "It's like… Everything that has happened, it's not as scary, not as heavy as it was. It's not totally gone, but it feels better now. Like I can maybe live again, one day."

Alice watched her friend, proud of her to feel this positive. She was used to a more pessimistic Bella, a Bella who was mostly numb.

"What are you going to do when you get out of here?" Alice asked, right as Edward walked into the room. He didn't go straight to Bella, but flipped through some papers lying on a desk by the door.

Bella was too busy thinking of all the possibilities to notice his entrance.

"I don't know," she said. "I'd probably go visit my dad at the rehabilitation center first."

"He'd probably be happy to see you." Alice smiled.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. It had been too long. She hadn't had time to visit him before her sentencing, so it had been a good year since she last saw him.

"I also kinda want to see Jason," she admitted as she looked at her friend. "I want to know what Edward's kid is like."

Edward's attention turned towards Bella at the sound of his name. He loved that she was smiling and he wondered if it was because of him.

"Do you think he looks like a mini Edward?" Alice asked, laughing at the thought.

Bella giggled. "I don't know, maybe," she answered. "I bet he was cute when he was little."

Edward looked more closely at Bella, confused by her words. He was flattered that she wanted to meet his son, but her words didn't make sense.

Alice laughed with Bella, agreeing that a miniature Edward would be cute.

"Has he told you anything about his childhood?" Alice asked curiously.

"Yeah, bits and pieces, but not much," Bella admitted. Still oblivious of Edward's presence, she started telling Alice those few things she knew.

"He used to wear glasses, since he was about nine years old, I think, until two years ago, when he had laser eye surgery. Also, he told me that he was grateful he never had to wear braces, but he had to wear a retainer for two years!" Bella laughed, imagining a salivating teenaged Edward, constantly clicking his mouthpiece.

"Bella?" Edward asked, startling her.

Her stomach plummeted; she knew she had been found out. She could only hope that he wouldn't think she was insane.

Her mouth felt dry as she squeezed out, "What?"

Edward approached her bed, his brow furrowed. "Who are you talking to?" he asked.

Bella nervously started picking at her nail cuticles.

"You should tell him," Alice whispered to her. Bella agreed, knowing that she couldn't play it off as nothing; she knew that she had to tell him the truth.

"Alice," she whispered, looking at Edward.

Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, Edward grabbed her hands to still them. His medical training told him to check her vitals, make sure that her brain didn't have any swelling, but the part who was personally vested in Bella told him to sit down and listen.

"Who's Alice," Edward asked calmly.

Bella looked him straight in the eye, trying to convey her sincerity, her truth.

"Alice is the one who told me Mary Brandon was kidnapped," she said quietly. "She told me the Hunters had taken her, and she told me to look under the rug in the kitchen."

They stared at each other for a long moment, Bella defying Edward to contradict her, Edward wondering if he had understood her correctly.

Finally Bella broke the silence.

"Alice Brandon was Mary's older sister."


End file.
